‘Between’ and ‘among’ are distinct terms. They are, however, both used when describing choices or relationships, and some people use them interchangeably. Perhaps it’s this that led someone to invent a rule about how they are used: that ‘between’ only applies when discussing two things, while ‘among’ should be used when discussing three or more things.
A nice, simple rule. The problem, though, is that this rule is (partly) wrong.
So, to bust a few grammatical myths and explain how these words should be used, here’s our guide to ‘between’ and ‘among’.
Choices
First, we’ll give a couple of examples of how these terms are used in different situations. With choices, ‘between’ is used for choosing between two or more individually named things:
She had to choose between Melbourne and Queensland.
On the other hand, we use ‘among’ for choices involving three or more things when the options haven’t been individually identified. In the following, for example, we use ‘among’ because the choice is between unnamed cities:
She had to choose among several university cities.
If dealing with two unnamed things, however, ‘between’ is still correct:
She had to choose between two universities.
(Side note: you can also spell ‘among’ as ‘amongst’, especially in Australian or British English, but this is a little old fashioned.)
Relationships
Most of the time, the distinctions for choices also apply to relationships. We use ‘between’ when referring to two or more individually named things:
Find this useful?
Subscribe to our newsletter and get writing tips from our editors straight to your inbox.
The relationship between Tom, Dick and Harry was strained.
And we use ‘among’ for relationships involving three or more things in a group:
The relationship among the brothers was strained.
However, there is one exception here. When talking about differences within a group, we always use ‘between’ (even if they’re not individually named). As such, both of these are correct:
There were several differences between Tom, Dick and Harry. ✓
There were several differences between the brothers. ✓
Remember, then, that ‘between’ is better for relationships of difference.
Between or Among?
These words have many uses, most of which don’t overlap. It’s only when discussing choices and relationships that they become tricky. As such, you need to think about what you’re describing.
The key is that ‘between’ applies when referring to two or more named things. ‘Among’, meanwhile, is used when referring to three or more things when they’re not individually named.
This is a bit different to the rule set out at the beginning of this post, as it isn’t just the number of things that matters. It’s also whether we’re discussing them as individuals or part of a group.